Melinda Beth - Melinda Beth

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Motherhood can be exhausting, frustrating, and a test of patience with a lot of joy squeezed in between. This is a blogumentary of me and my family of 8. There's me, my husband, and our 6 kids. We plan to live together a long time (forever!) These are the ages of our kids: Emily (7), Bradley (5 1/2), Sarah (4), Wendy (2 1/2), Jason (18 months), Rachel (3 months).

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!

I forgot to the get the traditional photo with mom pic today. So we got one at 10:00PM with Sarah asleep. It works.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Good Saturday

We had fun with the camera.

Friday, May 09, 2008

A true princess

There must be a pea under there somewhere.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

A lesson in lettuce

Tonight at dinner we gave Jason a taste of Romaine lettuce. It was his first attempt and it took a little getting used to. After dinner we went outside and as we watered the plants he decided to sample a leaf from each of them. Jason learned his first lesson on vegetarianism:

Lesson One: Eat leaves.

The things that offend us

I was upstairs doing laundry when Bradley comes crying. He whined, "Mommy! Sarah and Emily are calling me a little boy!"
"Um...yeah."
"But I'm not a little boy!"
"You're not?"
"No. I'm a big kid. They're being mean!"
"Ok."
Then Emily came in defense and said, "Mommy, he called us babies first!"
"Ok."

Then I thought, when is the crossing over point when we no longer desire to be big and prefer to be considered young and petite? Age 16? Age 25? I don't remember. Probably when the breasts lose their perk and the facial collagen gets looser. I know I wouldn't like it if someone called me an "old fart" or "big girl." So I guess all is fair. "Knock it off kids and just get along because I've got a mountain of laundry to fold."

and there's more... one load in the washer and another in the dryer. I want to live in a nudist colony.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

The Rescue

As I rummaged through the toys in the playroom, I came across Woody. I was wondering why I didn't see him during the yard sale because I was sure I had put him in the yard sale box. I also thought it strange that the Cinderella carriage didn't sell. Now I realize that it must have been used for the rescue.

In the eyes of a child

I took Emily out shopping tonight. It was a little mother, daughter bonding time. We went to Goodwill to see if any of our stuff that we donated was on the shelves yet. We didn't see anything. Then we went to Walmart. We shopped for a couple of hours. I bought her a big ice cream cone from the McDonald's inside of the Walmart. She was thrilled and ate the entire thing. On the way home she saw that the car clock said 10:04. She was surprised to see that there were other cars on the road. She said, "Mommy, why are there so many people out at 10:04? They should be in bed!"

Monday, May 05, 2008

Ultimate Bed Head

However, his hair looks like that all day, not just in the morning. No joke.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

I'm converting

Yesterday I went to the local Walmart Supercenter to pick up some wipes, diapers, and Pull-ups. I decided since I was already there, I might as well do my grocery shopping. As I shopped I realized how much cheaper a lot of the items were. For example, the milk was $3.40 compared to $4.19, the bread was $1.54 compared to $1.69, and the cheese was $7.34 compared to $7.99. I felt disloyal to my favorite grocery store, where it's a pleasure to shop, so on my way home I stopped by the shopping plaza to order some Dominos pizza. While I waited for my pizza I went to the grocery store to give it a little snuggle. I began the weaning process and purchased a couple bags of barley, toilet seat covers, Hefty ziplocs (can't beat those BOGO sales), and some perfume and dye free detergent for my poor eczematic Sarah. Also, I bought a reusable shopping bag bearing the store's logo as a souvenir of my regular shopping days there. I'll miss you, grocery store!

"50 % More! Than our 8 oz. Package"

During my shopping at Walmart I came across this package of cheese. Ok, so....thanks for doing the math for me, Sargento. I almost needed my calculator for that one. The 12 oz. package actually cost more per ounce than the 8 oz. package. My husband calls it "evil marketing." They must be marketing toward the dumb housewife. I'm no dumb housewife, but I bought it anyway so I could take a picture of it.

Oh and happy half birthday to Bradley!

Saturday, May 03, 2008

One man's trash is another man's treasure

Today we had a Yard Sale. It went well. I dreaded the whole process of getting up at 5 am to set up and dealing with bargainers, but I was pleasantly surprised that most people accepted my prices. I grossed $217 and netted $186.50 after the cost of advertising, and sign supplies. I suppose it was worth my time considering that now I don't have to haul a desk, dresser, office chair, and grill to Goodwill. I felt a little exposed having all of my junk displayed in my yard. But hey, people were willing to give me money for it. Only a couple of people tried to talk me down in price for some items. I was asking $2 each for two Lord of the Rings DVDs. One lady tried to get them for a dollar a piece. I said, "No, I'm going to stick to $2," because it was like only 8am. Sure enough about 5 minutes later some other lady came along and bought them for $2 each. I also discovered that I have some sales skills. I convinced a guy to buy my broken DVD player for $0.50 and another lady to take my scanner that was missing it's power cord for $1. One big item that I couldn't get rid of was our 5 year old gas grill. I was only asking $3 for it. But at 4pm after the sale was all cleaned up, some little hispanic man came knocking at my door and said, "You said three dollar for the uh...?" I said, "Yes!" and took the three ones he handed me and the grill was gone. I love the concept of yard sales - people paying you to haul away your junk!

Friday, May 02, 2008

Orphaned or neglected?

Do Max and Ruby have parents?

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Maximum weight: 11 lbs.

Rachel has exceeded the 11 lb. maximum weight on my postage scale. Now she weighs EEEEEE.

I don't hate many things, but I HATE cockroaches. I think one of the first questions I'm going to ask when I get to heaven is, "Was it really necessary to create roaches?" Seriously, what's their purpose?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dairy Queen

Frustrated with my lack of milk flow today I got out the breast pump. Intrigued with my dairying, my older kids intently watched my boob get vaccumed by the electic pump. They asked, "Mommy what are you doing?" I explained the process and then Wendy came over and said in her high pitched munchkin voice, "Mommy, what you doing? You making ice cream?"

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A couple of this week's memories

1. Emily broke a light bulb at the grocery store on Saturday. Ok. No big deal, but it had to be the most expensive gigantic $7.99 light bulb. It made a huge loud popping noise. Emily cried. I told her not to feel too bad. It was the store's fault for stacking it precariously on the shelf and GE's fault for not making more durable packaging. Thankfully we did not have to pay for it.

2. We made homemade ice cream for our Monday night activity. The recipe called for 4 cups of heavy whipping cream. Needless to say it was super creamy and it made my lips feel greasy after eating it. Daddy commented that he did not like it, so the kids decided that they did not like it as well. Now I have a quart of lip gloss in my freezer.

Monday, April 28, 2008

More Dumb Criminals

Today when I was grabbing a load of laundry from the hamper I heard some change jingling. A little annoyed that my husband didn't empty his pockets, I began searching through the clothes. It took me about 2 seconds to discover the broken piggy bank and 9 quarters buried beneath a couple of my husband's shirts. What in the world?

"Bradley?"

"Coming, Mommy!"

As I held the broken piggy bank, he walked in and tears welled up in his eyes. I didn't give him too much of a hard time. I asked him what happened and he explained that he jumped off the bed and it broke.

"Ok. So you put it in my hamper?"

Nod.

Seriously? The hamper? Why not put it somewhere like behind the washing machine, or under the duvet in the linen closet, or in my bottom dresser drawer, or in the bread machine? At least put it somewhere that I won't find it for another 2-6 months. I am comforted in knowing that my son will never lead a successful life in crime.

I guess I will have to take another trip to Arizona.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Scripture Yoga

Emily came home from church with this picture.

Weird!

It's either implying that you should do yoga while reading the scriptures or that scripture reading is one of the leading causes of childhood obesity, enormous feet, and crazy hair.

Learning to Read

Teaching Sarah to read has been more difficult than the first two kids. Today I was working with Sarah using some early reader books. The first one was about a hen. Sarah asked me, "What's a hen?" I told her that a hen was a girl chicken. When we got to the page that read, "A red pet hen," I pointed to the words as Sarah attempted to read:

"A"
"red"
"pet"
"girl chicken!"

Good enough! Good job, Sarah."

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Blast to the Past

I was going through old digital photos tonight comparing Rachel with her sisters at 3 months of age. I came across this picture of Sarah drinking a Big Gulp bottle.

Picture taken May 28, 2004

(It's only fair to post old baby photos from my pre-blogging years.)

Friday, April 25, 2008

Rachel Update

Yep! She's still got that crazy tongue.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Sarah, the inventor

Sarah was building with Mega Blocks after she got ready for bed.

"Mommy, you know what this is?"
Looking at the randomly built plastic colored blocks, "No. What?"
"Guess!"
"Um...an ice cream machine?"
"No!"
"Um...a helicopter?"
"Noo!"
"A popcorn popper?"
"Nooo!"
"Can I have a hint?"
"It's for moms, dads, kids, and babies."
"Oh, a soda machine?"
"No. It's very bigger."
"Can I have another hint?"
"It has a pumper."
"A homework machine?"
"No!!! It's for moms, dads, kids, and babies."
"I don't know. I give up."
Pointing to her forehead, "Mommy, you have to think!"
Dang kid! Stop putting so much pressure on me! "I don't know. Another hint?"
"It's very bigger, it gots things, and it's not a helicopter or a soda machine."
"Oohh. Things. How about a toy picker upper?"
"Ok, Mommy. I'll tell you. You pump it," as she demonstrated the up and down motion of the 4 peg green Mega Block, "and you put it behind your bed and it makes it comfy!"
"Wow! What a great invention, Sarah. "

I was totally going to guess a comfy bed maker next.

Then we went through the whole process again with her next invention. This time it was an invention only for kids. I was guessing until Daddy yelled, "Last one to bed is a rotten egg!"
Then Sarah looked at me and said with a serious face, "Mommy, I have to go to bed now."
"Sarah, are you going to tell me what it is?"
Looking over her shoulder she said very seriously, "Mommy, I have to go to bed. I'll tell you when it's morning."

A good inventor never shares her secrets. Her mother might steal the patent while she is sleeping.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

FYI

5 year old boys like to randomly plug things in. I guess I shouldn't have left my Sterilite plastic container on the electric griddle. (That's dirt from the plants I had in the container.)

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

To be a kid again.

When I got Wendy up from her nap she told me she rode a red horsey. She was very excited about it. I asked her if that was part of her dream. She nodded and told me she rode the red horsey in the park. We watched Mary Poppins this morning. I wish I dreamed about riding brightly colored horseys in the park. The only dreams I remember are the ones about losing one of my kids in public or forgetting to wear shoes to church.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Happy Eight Years

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Our First Anniversary

Back when we were fat and living next to two gay guys.

Our Eighth Anniversary

and 6 kids later

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sacrament Talk. Check!

Today our family talked in Sacrament Meeting. Our church has a lay ministry which basically means we don't have a preacher. Members of the congregation are asked to speak on Sundays. We were asked a couple of weeks ago. I totally thought that families with lots of small children were exempt from speaking because it's been 4 years and 4 kids ago that we spoke. But my theory has officially been proven wrong. Here is how it went:

Wendy
She mumbled something about families for 20 seconds with help from Emily.

Sarah
She gave a great talk about friends all by herself. It went like this:
My name is Saaarah. I'm four year ooold. And I'm going to talk about friends. My friends are niiice. My friends choose the riiight. I love my frieeends. I love Jeeesus. In name Jesus Christ, Men.

Bradley
He talked about the Sacrament. It went like this:
Good morning, Brothers and Sisters. My name is Bradley. I am almost five and a half years old and am in CTR 6. What is the sacrament? Doctrine and Covenants 20:75:

"It is expedient that the church meet together often to partake of bread and wine in the remembrance of the Lord Jesus."

The bread and water of the sacrament are for the body and blood of Jesus. The bread is for the body, and the water is for the blood. This helps us remember Jesus and keep his commandments. The Deacons pass the sacrament every Sunday. I’ll become a Deacon when I’m twelve years old. When I pass the sacrament, I’ll be clean, wear clean clothes, and wear a white shirt, and I’ll be reverent. The Deacons in our ward set a great example for me. I would like to bear my testimony. I know the Church is true. I know the Deacons pass the sacrament. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Emily
She talked about helping around the house. It went like this:
My name is Emily and I'm going to talk about helping around the house. I don't like cleaning up my toys that much, but I do like scrubbing, windexing, dusting, vacuuming, and sweeping in other places besides the kitchen. Now I'm going to say a quote by Elder Ballard from the last General Conference:

“Now, you children, please listen to me because there are some simple things you can do to help your mother.
You can pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them, and when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores—without being asked.
You can say thank you more often when you finish a nice meal, when a story is read to you at bedtime, or when clean clothes are put in your drawers.
Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.”

It's important to help our parents because it makes them happy and it brings the Spirit into the house. I would like to bear my testimony that I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, Joseph Smith is a prophet, Jesus is the Christ, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Music
Kids sang "Keep the Commandments."

Me
I spoke about keeping a cheerful spirit in our daily lives. I referenced my June Cleaver experiment and how I learned that happiness is not going to seek us and it is our responsibility to seek out happiness. We can have a cheerful spirit by keeping the commandments, smiling (even if you have to force it), and keeping a sense of humor. Cheerfulness promotes physical and spiritual health. When we are healthy, we are fruitful in the Gospel. We should scatter sunshine everywhere we go.

David
He spoke about the father's role in the family. He made the congregation laugh when he talked about us having a large family and that we are only getting started. I think they might have thought he was kidding. The kids were getting a little antsy by the end of his talk and someone described there wandering around on the stand like little butterflies fluttering behind him.

It was a good day. I'm glad to have that over. Now we are good for another 4 years.

Friday, April 18, 2008

More Progress

Before

After

Now what?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I'm making progress

So I was getting the photos off of my camera and unbeknowst to me the kids took pictures of their "Barbie family" yesterday. I'm not sure if they are adopted or if the parents have a highly varied gene pool. It looks like there is some mermaid ancestry and a gene that produces blonde afros (back right.)

I love the naked Kelly sitting on her naked sister's lap.

I'm making progresss. I did miss the blue mini M&M's container in the bottom of the crib. Rachel even sported a smile to express her pleasure of a clutter free resting area.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Confess to the Mess

I know I hinted at it on Monday, but I must officially confess that my house is a mess. I thought I should take the necessary step of admitting there is a problem. I think it might help me to do something about it. Could someone now please write Oprah and tell her a sad little story about a young mother with six kids that is living in squalor and to send Nate Berkus to her house for a home makover? Oh and don't forget to tell her that I need some new stainless steel appliances, but the fake stainless steel that doesn't show little kid fingerprints. Also a front loading washer, new dryer and lifetime supply of Tide would be helpful. And while you're at it, Oprah, throw in a nanny and housekeeper. Thanks!

Here is a crib that somebody gave us that has been sitting in our hall for the past six weeks because it doesn't fit through the doorways and we are missing the correct size allen wrench to take it apart. Meanwhile, it has been collecting clutter. The little black blob sitting on the floor beside it is a small Christmas tree we still need to put in the attic.

Poor baby!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Mommy, there's water on the floor.

This afternoon Emily came to tell me that it was wet in front of the toilet. Since I was aware of the fact that Bradley was the last lavatory occupant I said, "Bradley! Did you pee pee on the floor?" Taking a break from his PBS kids computer gaming he looked at me confused and then avoided eye contact and said, "I don't think so. The toilet might have overflowed a little bit." I sensed guilt and I made my way to the powder room to discover that "overflowed a little bit" was an understatement and that Emily left out the part of walking through a lake of water to get to the toilet. I was mad. Possibly more livid than on Friday night when I found muddy footprints throughout my family room. I yelled, "Stand in the corner! No, go get me some towels!" He obeyed through his tears and brought down my stash of perfectly white towels. Trying not to belittle the the 5 year old boy by screaming, "Not white towels!" (after all he did obey) I asked Emily to go get some older towels and asked Bradley to get the plunger.

Thankfully, my wood floors were saved and the toilet is functioning again. I was sure to give my sweet Bradley an increase in love after the ordeal. I think I'm beginning to accept the fact that I have a 5 year old boy. The great thing about Bradley is that he is super forgiving. The other day while he was reluctantly cleaning up his toys as I barked out orders like a drill sergeant he said, "Mommy, you know what? I love you!"

My attempt at prevention.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Word of the Day

Me: I surrender!

Bradley: Mommy, what does surrender mean?

Me: It means to give up.

Emily: Why are you giving up?

Me: I'm giving up because it's simply madness trying to keep a clean house.

Wendy: Why, Mommy?

Me: *sigh*

Wendy: Mommy, why?

Me: Oh...cause you guys are just crazy.

Wendy: Ohhh tay.

Here is hungry Jason protesting my late start at lunch.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Keep a Journal

A man spoke in church today about keeping journals and how it is important for our posterity to learn who we are. I totally classify my blog as my journal. I believe it paints a pretty good picture of my life. I'm going to print my blog out monthly and stick it in a notebook until I can publish it in a hardbound book. Sure, my blog lacks in spirituality, but I have a set of scriptures that I hope to tatter over the years to prove that I read them and thus am a spriritual person. I think I might actually write my testimony by hand and stick it in my scriptures so that when my grandchildren or perhaps great grandchildren find them they'll know that I had more to talk about than just poopy diapers.

~~~

Today Sarah drew a picture of a woman. She explained that the woman was mad because Sarah wasn't cleaning. Sarah explained that the woman was her mother.

Great! The mean mother picture again.

But then Sarah assured me that it wasn't me. It was her other mother.

"Who is this other mother?"

"Oh, she's my older mother that lives at my friend's house."

Ok. That's cool. I'm glad she's the mean one.

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